REALM OF CONTROL –
You cannot change a single thought in the mind or heart of another. Your efforts in doing so would be better spent being who you are for you, and if that changes the heart or mind of another, well then great.
With the exception of children, who are still learning, building, and making their own moral compasses by watching their elders, everyone else that is a fully grown “child” (i.e. the rest of the world – ha ha!) can only be moved in their minds or hearts when they CHOOSE to move in their minds or hearts. Your efforts in attempting to move them would be better spent at asking yourself, “What’s my motive for wanting them to move?” That answer is where the time and effort would be better spent.
For it is within the determination of your motivations where the keys to your liberation lies.
Ask yourself this question, “What is within my realm of control or influence?” Again, outside of the way you treat and love and guide “your” children, the only thing within your true realm of control is the way you choose to exist in the world, they way you choose to treat and love yourself, and the experiences and outcomes you choose to see as a result of the previous choices that led you there.
In the “trying to make others happy” game, you are automatically spending more than you are receiving. Take that in for a moment. Another way of saying it is, “In the trying you are dying.”
This also holds true with children at some point. After the groundwork of cultivation is laid, if you are “over-giving”, “over-doing”, or “over-trying”, you must take off the training wheels at some point. Again, it would be good to check in with your motivations for “over-doing it”. Are you trying to prevent them from having the experiences you had with your family, parents, friends, or others? You can actually help limit their experiences of those worries and concerns by not carrying those worries and concerns. The best way to do that is to hold love, not fear, in your heart. By holding onto fear, you create more of it.
You need not prevent them having an accident or from scraping their knees. You need only be there when they arrive crying, asking for your assistance. But there comes a point where you must let go and let God. Let them fall, let them have their own life experiences, continue to check in with your motivations around why you think you “should do this” or “should do that”.
In all of your life relationships, the best thing you can do for you is to look at your motivations behind your desires. Even the pure, loving desires will lead you to higher truths about you. Regardless, focusing your attention on what is in your realm of control, rather than on what is not, will lead you to many more years of health and happiness with those you love, as it will lead your heart to true freedom.
With so much love in our hearts for you,
You are LOVEDLOVEDLOVED……… THE MYSTIC